MY THOUGHTS ABOUT THIS IDEA:
This is a really neat piece about sibling attachment. I like the idea that sibling attachment is an important part of secure attachment. Obviously, Dr. Neufeld has done far more research than me on the topic, but my gut reaction is that the “6 stages” might be a little arbitrary. One could probably figure out one more and make it seven or cut one out and still get the same idea across. I also think that, rather than this being a single, sequential development that starts young and goes through adulthood, sibling probably go through ALL the stages several times as they grow older and pass through different developmental stages. It might be more of a spiral that continues up be also doubles back on itself a few times. I bet that each time the sibs go through the cycle, the attachment experiences set them up for the next go round. Just a thought. I do think the information is very useful for helping us foster better interactions between siblings.
The importance of a secure parent-child attachment is not a new revelation; this is what sets the foundation for all future relationships a child will have in his life. But there is also something to be said for security between siblings. A connected relationship between brothers and sisters also provides a foundational context. It is an opportunity to develop the groundwork for peer relationships in a child’s life.
Dr. Gordon Neufeld, developmental psychologist and co-author of Hold On To Your Kids, has devoted his life’s work to studying attachment and to helping parents and children resolve relationship struggles. According to Dr. Neufeld, there are six stages of attachment: six levels of development that a relationship must go through before the participants have reached secure attachment. These stages start simply and build consecutively to deepen the level of attachment over time. To successfully navigate all six stages is to develop…
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