When I was little my Dad would tell me “as long as you’re proud of yourself, those that matter will be proud of you also.” One of our daily chores was to do something that made us proud of ourselves, and we talked about it at dinner. Now we do this with our kids.
This idea struck me as a powerful way to help kids learn an internal locus of control. Kids who rely on others to tell them when they are doing a good job don’t develop authentic confidence. Instead, their confidence is always dependent on the praise and affirmation they’re getting from others. Any sense of achievement they get can be stolen if somebody else puts it down or doesn’t affirm it for them.
We want kids to know in their own hearts who they are. While data from outside sources plays a part, they should be their own best critic and encourager. The idea above is a great family ritual that can help kids develop the intrapersonal intelligence and skills necessary to be healthy and confident.